Nothing ventured, nothing gained – Day 181

Ok, before I get going I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has or is reading the blog and for all  of the great comments. There are some really experienced lighterlifers commenting on some of these posts and there’s some great insight as a result. The comments do really make it so please keep em coming. I’ve even had specific threads posted on message boards linking the blog which is absolutely fantastic and totally unexpected. I’m humbled by it. My last post did achieve a bigger reaction than most (all positive I’m pleased to say) so maybe I should be a bit more outspoken more often lol. I’ve been called an inspiration on a number of occasions now and whilst it does massage the old ego quite nicely, I’m just a twenty something dad of two from Essex. I don’t know what to say to it. All I’m trying to do is keep the blog going in order to show continued success post lighterlife as well as before. Whilst everyone’s journey is their own we all have strikingly similar experiences and if writing them down helps anyone to not feel on their own then it’s all worthwhile.  So it’s great to know that I’m inspiring some people but the honest truth is that you lot  inspire me. Every day I get new readers who are making possibly one of the hardest life changing decisions they will ever make and hearing the success of others who have already taken that step. If that’s not inspiration for me to keep riding the wave, I don’t know what is.

Thanks again

 G

P.S. This crazy journey is far from over!

Well my friends. It seems to have happened. I think I’ve put on weight! Eeek! That’s obviously the first reaction but here I am the day before weigh in day and I’m 2lbs heavier than this time last week. Now this obviously isn’t the end of the world as I’m only averaging around 1650 calories a day after exercise so it can’t be fat. I guess it’s just some glycogen. I have been eating more carbs this week and I haven’t been on the treadmill since Sunday. So with all this said I could end up going on the treadmill tonight and staying the same this week lol. You watch. I bet that’s what happens! So, just in case that does, I’m taking this opportunity to gauge my reaction to a gain. Now I’m essentially over a stone under my goal weight at the moment but, a gain is a gain at the end of the day. My first increase in weight since the 27^th August 2008. It’s a strange feeling to be honest. I feel bad/naughty etc when I really shouldn’t. The mind really is a funny thing isn’t it. I can sit here telling myself that I’m only having X amount of calories and exercising X times a week etc but those bloody scales still say more than they did this time last week. So, what am I going to do to give my subconscious mind a kick up the arse? I’m gonna eat more! Muahahahahahahaha! Fight fire with fire! I obviously have more glycogen to go back on and I think this is cos I’ve only really been eating one ‘meal’ a day. It’s my evening meal and the only time I have significant carbs. The rest of the day (after my porridge in the morning) I spend snacking on fruit and lighterlife bars (not forgetting my slim a soup at lunchtime). I’m finding as I eat more and get used to a balanced diet, my body is wanting something a little more substantial during the day. This means lunch. Now long time readers will know that I’ve been avoiding lunches at work like the plague due to the sheer level of temptation (and cost) that comes along with lunching in the city. Some of these sandwich shops around here would blow your mind. Now with that said, I need to get this glycogen issue sorted for my own sanity. As a result, there’s gonna be a lunch time sandwich involved. Except this time I’m gonna make it at home! Now as much as this practice feels like I’m going back to school, I think it’s necessary, cheaper, and you know exactly what’s in it.  I’ve planned this out in my meal planner for next week and it doesn’t dramatically increase my calories (it is a rather uninspiring ’sandwich’ after all) but it does push my carbs up to just over 200g a day (average for a man around my size should be 250g). I’m hoping this should increase those god damn glycogen levels once and for all and my weight will even out. I guess I’m trying to get to what I think will be my magic numbers of 2000 calories a day and 250g carbs a day in conjunction with exercising 3 times a week. Once I get to that point I should have a much better idea if I’m ever going to be one of those 2500 calories a day ‘average’ men or not. Hmmmmm, I suspect not…..

The advantage of a meal planner is that it’s very easy to see where the excess has come from. It’s basically the weekend. Now I’m quite happy to have a bit of free reign at the weekend and consider this to be the case for the long term. My extra glycogen came from having two meals a day over the weekend. I went for beans on toast Saturday lunchtime along with a dinner and some beers in the evening then on Sunday I took the family to the local Harvester for a spot of lunch. To keep in tune with the new me I essentially went for the healthiest option on the menu, a grilled chicken breast with plain Jacket potato and peas. I also hit the salad cart. However, to also keep in tune with my guilt ridden nature, I decided to look up the nutritional info on the Harvester website when I got back. The long and short of it was that I had around 650 calories instead of a usual 2000! Now that is a shocker isn’t it?! It just goes to show how much difference there can be in the same place. So, in my new found smugness, I had a sandwich on Sunday night and didn’t feel guilty in the l slightest. I guess the only thing I had which maybe I shouldn’t was some of the cookies I made with my son on Sunday. They were warm from the oven and full of dried fruit and I decided to dive in. Jolly nice it was too if I do say so myself. So anyway, where was I? Oh yes, between, the toast, the sandwich, potato and cookies it’s not hard to see where the extra carbs came from this week. So, in conclusion, calories were in check, carbs were higher, gain of 2lbs  = Glycogen. At least that’s my logic and I’m sticking to it!  Now ‘project lunch’ is about to be launched next week, I’m expecting a couple more weeks of gains. I’m sure I can handle it. I just have to keep the faith in myself and my choices. That and the fact that if I need to reel it back in a bit I can just by going back a couple of weeks in my meal planner.

Well that’s it for the obsessive number crunching for this post. The treadmill work is going ok. I do still enjoy it but think I may have over done it in the last couple of weeks. I’m still going on it 3 times a week but I’m toning it down a little to let my legs recover. I’m still burning at least 500 calories a time though. As I only have another 2 weeks on 2 food packs a day, I don’t think I need to burn as much anyway. I’m looking forward to this weekend as we have a night off on Saturday. My dad is baby sitting for us and me and the wife are going to a 40^th birthday party. I’ve laid off the mid week beers this week in anticipation as these things generally get a bit heavier than you expect. As a result they’ll be no take away on Saturday. Just a Jacket potato for both me and the missus with cottage cheese. As much as I’m looking forward to Saturday night, I’m not looking forward to Sunday morning! As Sunday is going to be a bit of a wipe-out I’ve taken next Monday off work. We’re going visiting the great Nan’s and granddads for the day so that should be fun. They don’t see much of the kids so they’ll be more than happy to entertain them. Getting through a visit to grandparents without getting fed a load of food you shouldn’t eat is another matter entirely! I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I bought a new shirt for the party on Saturday from Next in a size Large no less. I did get the medium on but let’s just say there wasn’t much drinking room in it. If I’m honest I’m probably between sizes at the moment. I’m a Medarge lol. With that said though once my glycogen is all back and weight is stable I’ll probably be a comfortable large. Got to be happy with that.

So that’s it. Nothing exciting. Just ticking over to be honest. I’m not going for weigh in tomorrow as I’m pretty much doing 2 weeks at a time now. My counsellor is away at the mo anyway so it doesn’t really matter. I will give a quick update on the weight front before the week is out though.

G

P.S. I think it may even be safe to say that spring is in the air. Heh, famous last words…..

YES WE CAN! – RTM week 5 weigh in – Week 25 – Day 176

 

Huzzah! Check me out. Twice in one week! Anyway. Straight on to the good stuff. I had my Route to management week 5 weigh in and registered a 2lbs loss this week which means I’ve now lost a total of 119lbs or 8 and a half stone exactly in just 25 weeks. Morning true weight currently stands at 13 stone and 1lbs or which is BMI 24.8 (W…..T…..F…..). So yes, it’s still a loss and not what I was looking for but, after having a conversation with my dad last night, I feel better about it. He managed to sum up how I’m feeling about my continued loss in a nutshell. I don’t want to over reach. Yes I am increasing my calorie intake week on week and doing it in a controlled manner. If I go over my calorie allowance I burn of the extra on the treadmill (something I also don’t HAVE to do, cos I’m still losing) but at the end of the day, I’d rather be controlled and still lose a little than increase my intake too much and not know it until the damage was done. Now, with all that said, it’s time for my regular disclaimer. I AM quite happy to put some weight back on. If I can sit here next year at anything less than 14 and a half stone I’ll be happy with that as a long term maintenance weight. Now I know that’s essentially 20lbs more than I am now but let’s be realistic. The road ahead could be quite bumpy at some points when I fly the Lighterlife nest. I have a holiday coming in May, the summer BBQ season and of course, let’s not forget Christmas and the general festive period. These are all reasons why I’ve got so low. I don’t want to ever have to go back on the abstinence part of the lighterlife programme. Building in this (rather significant) buffer is my ammo to make sure I never end up in that position. Now it may well be that I’m sitting here this time next year at the same weight I am now but the point is I (and the wife) was happy between 14-14.5 stone and I still feel that way. Whether I’ll still feel that way in 6 months time is a different question. I’ll let you know when I get there.

 

I’ve had a few requests via email and message boards (where are the comments on the blog gang?!) for top tips and advice when doing lighterlife. I think I mentioned doing something like this around the turn of the year but never got round to it. I guess the bottom line is that I don’t like to tell people what to do. I think something like lighterlife is so hardcore, so extreme, and so expensive that only you and you alone can decide to start and complete the plan. Anyway, with that said, I’m going to give it a go. Now I don’t view myself as the font of all knowledge when it comes to lighterlife but It’s been pretty successful so I guess I must have some wisdom to pass on lol. I’m going to split it into two parts. The practical stuff and the more woolly stuff. Obviously this is all personal opinion and I’ll be surprised if there aren’t’ things people disagree with. At the end of the day, everyone’s journey is their own. These are just the things I’ve lived by. Be warned, it’s gonna get preachy…..

 

Practical stuff

 

Measure everything. I have a spreadsheet here that measures water intake, LL weight, Home weight, BMI, food pack orders, measurements, the list goes on and on, the old adage of ‘writing stuff down’ really helps. I would encourage anyone to get into this habit early on as it’s only going to help you even more when you’re eating again.

 

Don’t ‘cook’ your packs in the early stages. I know I’m contradicting myself here as I was making crisps for my last few weeks of abstinence but I think the psychological effects of making ‘chocolate bars’, ‘muffins’, ‘custard’ etc is just plain bad news. You don’t need the baggage. Lighterlife is an abstinence programme. How are you supposed to separate yourself bad food whilst making this stuff?

 

Space your packs out evenly during the day. I found One before work, one during, one after and one before bed to work for me.

 

Get a stick blender. Seriously, if you’re doing the programme and don’t have one of these you already have more will power than I do. I couldn’t live without mine.

 

Be mindful of tea/coffee/sweetener – It all makes you pee more and can dehydrate you, therefore constipate you, therefore lose less. I’m not saying don’t have it, just regulate it with water

 

Pack combos. This isn’t cooking, just nice. I would recommend blending coffee and ice with water and the chocolate shake and dunking peanut bars in hot black coffee. Lemon bars dunked in tea are ok too.

 

Don’t dismiss packs forever – I hated Thai chilli when I started and loved chicken. Now it’s the other way around. Change them up every few weeks. You may be surprised.

 

Savoury drink – Don’t buy the lighterlife one. It’s a lot of money for the same stuff you can buy in the supermarket (Marigold Swiss vegetable bullion).

 

Spend a lot of time in the bath in the early weeks. It’s that much more hassle to get to the fridge.

 

 

Hmmmmm, I’m sure there are loads more practical things but I want to get on to the other stuff. Let’s talk about lapsing. Don’t do it. Ever. Now I’m proud to say that I didn’t lapse through the whole of the plan so I guess this doesn’t really make me qualified to talk about it but I’m gonna lol. There are so many aspects to lapsing. The cost is the most practical one. Let’s take a good case scenario, you lapse quite badly but you stay the same that week. Well that lapse has cost you £66 (plus whatever the cost of the food you ate) and more importantly, another whole week on abstinence! You really are only cheating yourself. There are men in my group who started a month before I did and have lost significantly less than I have solely due to lapsing. Something else I can tell you is how good it feels not to lapse and it CAN be done. So much is said of the whole ‘adult ego state’ and I’ve made an ‘adult decision to eat’ well, long time readers will know that I don’t agree with this at all. In my view if you have committed to the abstinence part of the programme and are serious about success, the adult decision is to abstain. I still fail to see any logical reason for it bar medical reasons. I’ve been through Christmas, two work conferences, work do’s, birthdays, parties, weddings, you name it I’ve done it and not lapsed once. Again, it CAN be done. One of the best things to do on this plan is to develop a real stubborn streak. Don’t let other people (and more importantly guilt derail you). Keep your eye on the prize and remember that it’s not forever. If you lapse, you’ll just make it harder for yourself in all areas. I’ve seen many come and go due to lapsing so you just don’t need it. God, listen to me on my high horse. I’ve read it back and I know it sounds harsh but I really believe in abstinence. Now, with all that said, all is not lost if you do lapse. I have a great deal of respect for people who can fall of the wagon and get straight back on. I think one of the main reasons I didn’t lapse is cos I don’t think I could have done it. Here’s that knife edge again. If you lapse, don’t beat yourself up about it. Put it behind you and move on. Taking a ‘well I’ve lapsed now so I may as well have this too’ approach is going to kill off the plan for you completely. I’ve seen people really put their self through the mill cos of a lapse and whilst I agree that you should feel bad about it, don’t think ‘oh I haven’t changed at all, I’m still as bad as I’ve always been’. I say that because what you do after a lapse defines the person you have become. If you lapse and get straight back on to the programme you will be able to look back at that specific point in time and say ‘There, right there, is where I changed for good’. If you allow the lapse to ruin it, that’s when you can be confident that you haven’t changed. God I hope that made sense. So, this is all well and good but, how have I avoided lapsing. Well, iron will power (I still don’t know where it’s come from) does indeed help but there are some things you can do. The one I like the best (and most of you will remember this) is the 20 minute rule. If you find yourself reaching for some food STOP! Now wait 20 minutes. If you still want it. Have it. That’s the approach I’ve taken and I never have. My rant about lapsing may have put the impression in your mind that I’m whiter than white. Well I’m certainly not. I’ve definitely had my moments and come VERY close to lapsing on several occasions but waiting the 20 minutes has always helped bring me back from the brink. Jeez I wonder about that all the time. If I’d have lapsed, would I still be sitting here writing this? I really don’t know.  I guess this is why I feel so strongly about it.

 

Another thing that came out of the conversation with my dad is the dreaded ‘fine line’. When you’ve been significantly overweight and successfully lose some, you’re constantly on a knife edge so you must NEVER lose sight of that fact and ALWAYS be on your guard. I’ve read somewhere though that you do eventually reach what they call a ‘half life’. You get to the point one day where you’ve had so much success that you’ll never go back to your old ways. Hmmmmm, I think I’m still on the knife edge. I know that sounds a bit depressing but I don’t think I’m ready to completely throw of the shackles of the dieting mentality just yet. You need the ‘fear’ in my view. Anything that keeps you on the straight and narrow is a good thing in my opinion.

 

Next I would say become a challenge whore. Write your targets and goals down and have a lot of them. I had around 20 weight loss targets which you can see by reading back over the blog and I still have some now. My first one in RTM is to complete the couch to 5km running plan and I’m just two weeks away from that now, then I move on to the next. I found that it really helped motivate me when I had mini goals really close together. Close enough that I almost had one every week. To me it became all about the challenge. That’s why I went through Christmas on abstinence even though I was pretty much at my goal weight. I needed one more big challenge to convince myself that I’ve changed for good. I’m so glad I did it. That’s not to say I’m not still sore about missing out on the mince pies but the point is they’ll be there next Christmas and every Christmas for the rest my life. This leads me on to possibly my most important thing, depravation.

 

I can’t stress this enough. You simply MUST have a culture of choice when it comes to your approach with Lighterlife. Put simply, if you have a ‘Can’t have’ mentality you WILL fail. You must take the ‘choosing not to have’ approach in order to succeed. Yes you’re on a diet plan and yes, it’s certainly a strict one, but you’re choosing to do it. You could have that donut or chocolate bar if you wanted to but you’re choosing not to. This is something I really suffered with pre lighterlife. I would constantly be telling myself that I can’t have this or can’t have that and as a result, I’d rebel and have twice as much. It’s your choice at the end of the day and it’s something that no one can take away from you. This is closely connected to the relationship with food thing. I found not shying away from food to be a really good thing. Obviously this doesn’t apply for the first week or two when you’re really suffering but after that, I think it’s a positive. I carried on cooking the Sunday roast and doing the weekly food shop throughout my time on the plan. I didn’t want to end up with a love/hate relationship with food so I figured I’d tackle it head on. Also I find the idea of things is quite often better than the actual thing itself. The amount of cooking programs I watched on TV during abstinence would shock you. Now I appreciate this approach might not be best for everyone but it’s back to the whole deprivation thing. Don’t’ deprive yourself of a relationship with food just cos you’re not eating it. I know that sounds weird but don’t forget that one of the blokes in my group is a chef! He was also one of the most successful on the plan. Take from that what you will.

 

Hmmmmm, what else. Sure you’ve all had enough of my preaching by now? No? Well, here I go again. Dealing with other people can be a pain. I’ve had a few instances and I’ve certainly developed some pet peeves as a result. One person (who knew I was on the plan) just would not stop offering me food. Apparently it was out of courtesy but I really don’t get it. I guess I’m lucky enough not to have encountered much trouble in this regard but I have had a few people tell me I’ve lost too much and someone even told me I look ill! I’m not sure what to take from comments like this but what I would advise other LL starters to do is just ignore it all. It could be jealousy, genuine concern, malice or anything else. Don’t waste time trying to understand the motivation behind some comments. Similarly, don’t get hung up on compliments either. In a post a long time ago I was talking about my inability to accept a compliment and to be honest, I still struggle. As much as people noticing is nice and the compliments do flow (I still see people now I haven’t seen since I started) they soon dry up. Don’t rely on your weight loss defining you as a person. This is something I’m quite guilty of. I’m becoming one of those calorie bores. To be honest I think it’s just that LL is all my life has been about for the last 6 months. I’ve been so focused on what’s going into my body; I haven’t really had time for anything else. The way I look at it, I’ve been overweight for 20 years so 6 months of focused dieting is nothing.

 

Ok, let’s wrap this up cos I really am just rambling now. I guess my last piece of advice is to enjoy it. I know it’s a strange one but there nothing like the feelings you get whist doing a diet like this. Just read back in this blog to see. There are so many highs. Clearing out the wardrobe, trying on old clothes after you’ve lost loads, looking at old photos, fitting in seats on planes, trains, concert venues, cinemas, buying clothes in every high street shop, reading back on your blog to see how you’ve changed, exercising without feeling like you’re going to die, looking good in the mirror, not feeling guilty about eating, better sex life, better relationships in general, more energy to play with the kids, not feeling self conscious, more confident, feeling like ‘one of the crowd’, not worrying about weight restrictions, not beating yourself up about a ‘bad night’, no joint pain, looking forward to getting up in the morning (mmmmmmmmm Porridge), rediscovering healthy food, meeting new people, learning about yourself with counselling, taking matters into your own hands, being a success. The list goes on and on but you get the point by now. If anyone has any questions or feels the need to ask anything else please don’t hesitate to comment on the blog or email me (address is on the ‘about’ page) or PM me in one of the lighterlife forums. I’ll be more than happy to help wherever I can.

 

So, final thought. It’s down to YOU. Only YOU can do it. Only YOU can ruin it. YOU lapse. YOU don’t lapse. YOU succeed. YOU take the credit.

 

G

 

P.S. Wait 20 minutes…………  

 

P.P.S. If that doesn’t work. Look at this picture……

‘Healthy’ – BMI 25 – Day 173

Well hello hello hello my friends. It feels like it’s been a while but let me tell you, today is a milestone. My morning true weight today was exactly 13 stone and 2bs which, as you may have gathered from today’s rather uninspiring post title is BMI 25! I’m ‘healthy’! Can you believe it readers? I mean, can you actually believe that less than 6 months ago I was a tight fitting xxxl and nearly 22 stone with a BMI of over 41? Lighterlife really is the miracle diet but that’s not what’s got me to this fighting fit weight. I have. I’ll come back to that in a sec. Now I want to point out that apart from the very early stages, BMI 25 has never been a serious goal for me. It was always there as a bit of a pipe dream but I never thought I would get there. With that said, I don’t expect to be here for long at all. You may recall me moaning that I was still losing and didn’t want to? Well not in a million years did I think I’d lose anymore. So after increasing my calorie intake much faster than I originally planned a couple of weeks ago, I find myself in the position of needing to do it again. To that end I’ve introduced more carbs. I’ve got to be honest (and one of the comments on my last post helped me form this view) I can really understand where carbs fit in to a healthy diet now and the main reason for that is exercise. They totally give you more energy and get up and go. Also, I’m not so bloody cold all the time now. Having some pasta last night (a mushroom, chicken and mustard concoction) I feel so much better.

So where does this leave me with Lighterlife? The honest answer is nowhere. I’m still having two food packs day but to be honest, there’s isn’t much I’m not eating. I haven’t had much bread yet but I’m gonna have a couple of slices with my prawns and salad tonight. As long time readers will know, I’ve been wrestling with the RTM plan for a few weeks. I can’t help but feel it’s designed for those with serious food addiction that are struggling to make the lifestyle change. The carbs aren’t my problem foods. I’m having the right ones (whole grains) and sticking to the recommended portion size. As you all know what my main trigger for overeating is (beer) I won’t go into it again. This is what I meant earlier. At the end of the day I hit BMI 25 through my own devices and eating plan. The key to all this is both behavioural and physical. Exercise is the silver bullet. I don’t want to over simplify it by using the old chestnut of ‘eat less, move more’ but it’s true! I just can’t afford to let it get away from me. To this end I’m rather punishing myself a little. If I’m going to be so blasé about putting the calories in to my body I need to commit to getting them out. Particularly when it comes to beer. Take Friday for example. I had 2 pints at lunch and, whilst not the end of the world, it was still unplanned. As a result I burnt those two pints off on the treadmill when I got home (Friday isn’t normally a treadmill day). It was the same over the weekend. I’d always planned to have a good drink with the wife on Valentine’s for quite a while but jeez it ended up being a VERY good drink. I blew my calorie target/budget for the day completely out of the water. As a result, I went for it on the treadmill the day after. 10km, 1hour 20 minutes and 1000 calories burned. Doing it with a hangover just cemented that I was making the right decision. No pain no gain. I guess this all sounds like I’m being a bit harsh on myself as I still lost weight this week and my average calorie intake is still less than 1400 a day but this is about the principle. I need to get in to the routine of there being consequences for over indulgence. Not necessarily bad consequences cos I actually quite enjoy the treadmill now, but consequences all the same. And let me tell you, after that session on the treadmill I’ll think twice about going over the quota again! To that end, I have a party to go to on the 28^th so, as me and the missus have got into quite the routine when it comes to having a few drinkies on a Saturday night, we decided it’s time for a mini challenge. No booze until the party. I was such a beer monster pre lighterlife that I need to prove to myself that it’s not the be all and end all. I’m quite happy to have a couple of cheekies during the week at work or a few on a Saturday night but I need to be comfortable that I can take or leave it relatively easily. There are only 2 reasons for this. Beer is FULL of calories and, to make matters worse, it makes me want to pig out!  Phew, anyway, I’m sure it won’t be a problem leaving the amber nectar alone for a couple of weeks. I did it for over 5 months after all. Of course, every cloud has a silver lining. No beer in the calorie plan for this week means I can eat more and then have a good drink at the party. See, calories in vs calories out. If you keep the balance, you keep your sanity.

Ah, another reason I’ve added the carbs in as early as I have (apart from not wanting to lose anymore) is that I think I’m hungry. I’ve got a pretty good exercise plan going on but I’ve found myself picking a little bit. Not at anything bad but picking all the same. I just don’t think I was satisfied and it was deffo worse on the days I ran. Having that pasta last night gave me the same sort of result that I get from the porridge in the morning. Cos it was wholewheat pasta I felt pretty full for the rest of the evening. That was just the kind of satisfaction I was looking for. It didn’t make me want to eat more at all. I felt a bit ‘heavy’ afterwards but I think that’s to be expected. As a result this week is another week of ‘firsts’. As I’ve already mentioned I’ve had my first pasta and I have my first bread to look forward to tonight along with my first jacket potato (with cottage cheese and the ever present salad) tomorrow night. I made the vegetable curry from the RTM recipe book last week with quorn and I really enjoyed it. I’m making it again this week and it quite easily tides me over for 2 meals. This week I’m going to add some wholegrain Basmati rice too. I don’t know where all this food has been all my life as this is exactly how I’ve wanted to eat for a long time. It’s funny how losing the weight has given me that much needed extra perspective to buy the right things and control the portion sizes. I thought the amount of dried pasta that made up a portion was pathetic when I weighed it out but I must say, it was enough. Once it’s cooked and mixed with the veggies and chicken it all adds up.

So I started all this off with ‘where does this leave me with lighterlife?’. Well I’m pleased to say that it leaves me in a position where all I’m using if for is the food packs. I’m going to go back to one soup and one bar a day as the two bars a day theory doesn’t really work in my favour. I don’t see the point in having a cup a soup when I could just have a lighterlife one.  I haven’t had any counselling sessions during RTM but that’s as much to do with me as my LLC and lack of a RTM group. I’m incredibly grateful to LL for what it’s done for me but I do kinda resent paying for it at this point. I still have 3 weeks to pay at £33 before it drops down to £16.50 and one food pack. Part of me wants to start the 16.50 weeks now but another part of me wants to stay the course and continue getting weighed for the next 5 weeks. Hmmmm, I’ll mull it over for a couple of days and see how the land lies……

G

 

P.S. Food plan for today

7am – Porridge with sultanas

11am – Banana

12:30pm – Soup

2pm – Plum

3pm – Peanut bar

4pm- Apple

5pm – Nectarine

7pm- 200g prawns with salad, 2 slices of wholemeal bread & butter

8pm- sugar free jelly with fat free fromage frais

9pm-Cranberry bar

Total calories – 1397

Total Fat – 23g (of which saturates 14g)

Total Carbs – 184g

Carbs are the enemy. Or are they? – RTM week 4 weigh in – Day 168

Well today is my last day of week 4 of route to management and I’ve lost another pound lol. That’s 117lbs total (8 stone 5lbs) and I’m way under my target weight. Now going into week 5 the LL RTM plan say I can add in some other veg (carrots etc) but I’ve already had them lol. As a result of my loss last week I decided to up the calorie intake significantly. At the time I last blogged I was averaging a pathetic 800 calories a day after exercise. I’m pleased to report that I averaged 1100 this week and am about to increase it further to 1200 for week 5. I’m mainly going to do this with porridge in the morning. Now I’m not supposed to be having this level of carbs at this point and I don’t think I’ve even supposed to have any type of cereals until week 9 but I’m not bothered frankly. I think the reason for the late introduction of carbs in RTM is to deal with ‘triggers’ and cravings. Now I certainly have triggers (booze being my biggest one) but I’ve overcome them. I’m so god damned obsessed with counting calories that I feel there’s nothing I can’t add now. So, to that end I’ll be adding 30g of sultanas to my porridge tomorrow and even adding a slice of brown bread with my soup from week 6, and some proper carbs with my evening meals from week 7. On the soup front while I’m here. I’ve actually just had my last ever Lighterlife soup.! From now on I’ll be having two bars a day which is also going to help me with increasing my calories. .  I’m still phasing the carbs though in cos they are quite high in calorie at the end of the day. I don’t think my general approach has changed dramatically from the way I used to look at things pre LL. I’m pretty good during the week and allow myself a bit of free reign at the weekends. I say free reign but it’s nothing awe inspiring. I’m pushing the boat out on Saturday though for valentines. We won’t be going out but once the kids are in bed it’s an Indian take away (the same healthier option I went for 2 weeks ago), a 4 pack of fosters and a bar of bournville. Really looking forward to it. But, like I said, I’m counting the calories which is what I really didn’t do before.

I obviously at ate a hideous diet pre lighterlife as I’m struggling to see where I was getting the extra from. The reason I say this is cos I’ve completed my food plan all the way up to week 9 and it’s still only averaging out at about 1600 calories a day and that’s including some naughty stuff. I guess the exercise is the big change. The couch to 5k plan is going well and I’m past halfway. I can even run for 20 minutes on treadmill non stop. That’s something I thought would have been impossible just a few weeks ago. It really feels good though but I’m trying to make and effort to stick to 3 times a week and not do more. I don’t want to overdo it plus, any extra calories I burn is just gonna make my intake even lower. As I’m significantly upping the carbs this week I’ll be interested to see if there’s any Glycogen still left in my body to be replenished. I know there’s no way I’m putting fat on due to my calorie intake but I do expect to be sitting here this time next week telling you all about my first gain in weight since August 2008. I guess only time will tell. Food is fuel at the end of the day and I think my exercise regime is dictating that I need more of it.

This is all very interesting to me cos I’m surprised how much you can eat for the calories if my mainly stick to natural unprocessed stuff. So much so that I don’t really find myself craving sweets/cake/crisps etc cos I couldn’t eat as much of it. Let me give you an example. This is my meal plan for Friday….

6:00am – Porridge with 30g of Sultanas

7:00am – Nectarine

9:00am – Muller light yoghurt

10:30am-Sharon Fruit

12:00pm-Pear

1:30pm -Cup a soup

3:00pm -Peanut bar

4:30pm – Apple

7:00pm – 150g cottage cheese, 2 slices ham, salad

8:00-pm – Sugar free jelly with fat free fromage frais

9:00pm – Lemon Bar

I mean, that’s a lot of eating! It’s little and often but that suits me down to the ground. So, what’s the total calorie intake of that lot? 1268 calories, 22g of fat (11 saturated). How cool is that! I totally have room in the allowance for some good stuff at the weekend and to increase my intake over time. To put all this in perspective, the average man should eat around 2500 calories a day to maintain his weight. Now that may not be the case for me cos there’s certainly some evidence out there to suggest that people who were once obese have to exercise harder and eat less than someone who has never been overweight but even if I eat 2000 calories a day long term, it’s still a lot more than I’m eating now. I think this numbers approach is really working for me. They never lie at the end of the day and I’ve found myself rejigging what I have the for rest of the week in order to accommodate extras rather than just having it and letting the number creep up. I think that’s a good habit to get into. My very nature dictates that the number can’t pass the target! Well what do you know, my obsessive compulsive disorder is starting to pay off!

G

P.S. Sorry of this update seems a little rushed but I’m run of my feet today!

Calories in Vs Calories out – RTM week 3 weigh in – Day 163

 

My god, how crap am I at keeping this blog up to date lately? I promise you a detailed blog of the Route to Management phase on the Lighterlife plan and I’m barely managing an update a week! Rest assured I’m going to make every effort. I’ve just received my 5000^th hit on the blog so it’s given me some new motivation!

 

Anyway. I had my week 3 RTM weigh in on Wednesday night and lost a pound. That’s 8lbs in RTM so far and an astonishing 116lbs (8 stone 4lbs) overall in just 23 weeks. I’m determined to make this my last loss. My morning true weight currently stands at 13 stone 4lbs which is essentially BMI 25 (25.2 to be exact) and I really don’t want to lose any more weight. If anything, I want to gain some. To this end I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’m still on two lighterlife food packs a day for the next few weeks; I’m going to have two bars a day from week 5. The reason for this is that week 5 (which starts next Thursday) allows me to add low fat soup to the plan. This means I can add a cup a soup or something to replace my lighterlife soup and enjoy the benefit of the extra calories/carbs that two bars a day will give me. During the abstinence phase of Lighterlife it’s very important to be restricted to one bar a day so you don’t come out of ketosis but, as I’m not in ketosis anymore, my LLC agreed that there’s no drama in me having two bars a day. I guess this make life a bit more convenient to as it’s something else to snack on the move. So this is my last week of lighterlife soups. I gotta be honest, I won’t miss em. I will however miss my daily peanut bar when this all comes to an end. In weeks 9-12 of RTM you only have 1 food pack a day and I have a very strong feeling that my daily peanut bar is going to be the one that survives to the bitter end. There is a chocolate and raisin bar that you can have post RTM. I hear they’re pretty orgasmic too.

 

So, how have I been getting on? Good is the short answer but it is quite difficult. Having the fruit in week 3 has taken me out of ketosis and as a result I’m feeling the hunger a lot more now. I’m eating little and often to combat this but my main focus is on calories in and calories out. As I’ve mentioned before I’ve been trying to follow the theory of increasing my calorie intake by 100 a day every week during RTM but, as I’m still losing weight, I’ve decided to modify the plan to my needs. I guess this is the point of RTM. It’s about finding your own way at the end of the day. As a result I’m aiming to average 1100 calories a day in week four and have planned my eating around that figure. I’ve added bananas in a week early and have literally just finished eating my first one in 5 months. Really enjoyed it. I also was a bit naughty and had a couple of drinks last Saturday. Now I’m not really supposed to be doing this until next week but, I thought about it for a while and decided that I just needed to get over myself and do it. I think booze has been playing on my mind cos I really do like a beer. I used to drink quite a lot before I started the plan and haven’t touched a drop since the wedding I went to on the 25^th August last year. As a result I think I was starting to worry about it. So, in my new found approach of tackling this stuff head on, I had a couple. It was fine. I was expecting to be slurring my words etc and feeling quite drunk but I didn’t really. I pleased to say I survived my first alcohol post lighterlife without going off the rails. With that said though, the potential was still there. I did get a taste for it and could quite easily have carried on. I guess the difference now is that I’m far more tuned in to these sorts of feelings and I recognise them before they get a chance to take hold. So that’s another challenge over and done with. The next challenge is the dreaded carbs. Now refined carbs are supposed to be a big no no until the late stages of RTM but my exercise regime is demanding I address this issue head on.

 

Now, the science bit. Let’s talk a bit about glycogen. Your body stores reserves of carbs to use as energy in both your muscles and liver. This reserve takes the form of glycogen. For each glycogen molecule that exists, 4 molecules of water attach themselves to it. This of course adds weight and, depending on your size/age/sex etc, this store can weight anything from 4-10 pounds. This is why you get such fast results in a relatively short space of time on low carb/ketosis based diets like Lighterlife or Atkins etc. The first thing your body will burn for energy are these glycogen stores and, as you’re not replacing them, you lose weight fast. Chances are that the 10lbs I lost in week one of lighterlife was pure glycogen (and it’s associated water). If I’d have come off the plan there and then, I’d have put the 10lbs back on within a week. The obvious benefit of such a development though is that it keeps you motivated. This is why all these diets you see advertised can play on the whole ‘lose half a stone in your first week’ angle etc except you’re not actually losing any fat. Obviously the good news is that anything you lose after that first week or so is fat. Anyway, that’s a very long winded way of saying that when I start eating significant amounts of carbs again, my glycogen levels will refill and I will put on weight. The key word there is weight and not fat. I’m very keen to get these glycogen levels back up asap both in order to help me with my exercise (by having energy reserves in the form of glycogen in my body again) and to finally be in a position to know what my true weight actually is (and give me a target to stick to). As a result I think I’m going to add in some bread (brown whole grain of course) in week 6. There are some concerns with this strategy. Some say that losing more than 10% of your body weight puts the body into a ‘fat saving’ mode so it hangs on to anything it can. Another potential issue is about basic metabolic rate (BMR). Mine is bound to have slowed as a result of being on so few calories but at the end of the day, the maths doesn’t change. For every 3500 calories you eat more than your body needs, you will gain a pound of fat. So we’ve come full circle. Calories in vs. calories out. It’s always boils down to that.

 

My point is that until I have carbs and glycogen back in my every day life, I’m never going to know what my body needs. Sheesh, I’m sure all that was pretty confusing but what I’m aiming to achieve is a healthy balance diet of around 1500 calories a day and happily maintaining at some point in the next 4 weeks. I’m incredibly grateful for the RTM plan for the first few weeks. The structure of adding protein, followed by certain veg, followed by low GI fruit etc has really helped keep me on the straight and narrow in a world full of mind boggling food choices. I’m not going to totally abandon the plan. It’s not like I’m going to finish this post and tuck into a pizza and chunky kitkat but I feel the need to take the bull by the horns, refill my glycogen stores, up my calories, gain a bit of weight and increase my exercise level. I’m sure it’s something I can achieve. I will still follow the guidelines of the plan to a certain extent and the recipes will certainly come in handy but now, for the first time in my life, I feel ready to create a balanced healthy lifestyle for myself and, more importantly, take full responsibility for it.

 

G

 

P.S. Calories in vs. Calories out……………….