‘The only thing we have to fear is Fear itself’ – Day 194

 

So I’ve had a real reminder of what not to be over the last few days. A feeling that’s a total blast from the past. Saturday came and went and it was just as legendary as I thought it was going to be (on the drink front). To be honest I’m sitting here on Monday morning and still feeling it. Yesterday wasn’t pretty after all the curry, beer and sugar I consumed as the excesses of Saturday worked its way through. That’s how I used to feel ALL the time before I started lighterlife. I don’t mind every now and then but it was a really helpful reminder to not slip back into my old ways for any extended period of time.

 

This week has been a bit of a rollercoaster on the food front as it goes and I think I’ve identified a couple of triggers for me. The first is bread. Well, not bread as such, more having bread earlier in the day.  I had two lunches at work last week (on Thursday and Friday). One was sushi and one was a sandwich (made at home). Well, the sushi day was fine but the day I had the bread at lunch time I was climbing the walls wanting to munch on anything. I managed a bit of damage limitation buy munching on a bag of dried fruit and mixed nuts (all good fats and calories) but I spent Friday night beating myself up about having stuff that wasn’t in the food plan (especially as I had a high calorie weekend planned). The wife made me feel better about it though. I was sitting there with a face like thunder so she started grilling me about why I had the arse. I told her about the wanting to eat more and snacking on the nuts and fruit and she just laughed. She said something along the lines of ‘if eating some nuts is your only problem, you ain’t got not problems’. I guess she’s right. I suppose it was the behaviour that worried me. That, coupled with the fact that my dodgy leg has meant no exercise for me this week, made me beat myself up about it. That’s not even taking into account that I’m STILL averaging less than 2000 calories a day at this point. Anyway, I think I’ve learned a lesson, sandwiches at lunch are gonna have to be a no no for me. Now this is a big thing. I come from a long line of sandwich eaters and would eat pretty much anything between two slices of bread. Hmmmm, I guess that’s one of the many reasons why I got so big. Oh well, I can get on board with sushi and salads for the foreseeable future. I think another slight trigger for me is some types of fruit. As I ended up having more calories than intended over the last few days I actually cut back on the fruity snacks for a couple of days (damage limitation again) and felt surprisingly better (in terms of hunger/cravings) so I’m limiting myself to 3 pieces of fruit a day (in addition to my sultanas in the my porridge) and am going to get into the routine of 3 meals a day instead of snacking little and often. The L&O approach worked very well for me at first but I think a lunchtime meal will help now. Anyway, that’s coming to effect from Thursday. That’s the start of week 9 of RTM and I’m in to the last 4 weeks of the plan. In week 9 you drop to just 1 food pack a day so it’s time to up the calories with a lunch (not just slim a soup) It’s going to be a challenge but, if I keep inspecting the labels, I will succeed. I won’t go into the details of Saturday but I’ve drawn a line under it and am back practising my healthy lifestyle as I type. I mentioned this is my last post. This is how it’s supposed to be. I’m not on a diet anymore. I’m just practising a healthy, balanced lifestyle 90% of the time and doing what I like the other 10%. Seems to be working for me.

 

So, what affect has all this had on the scales? Not a lot to be honest. On the morning of my last weigh in (last Wednesday) I weighed 13 stone 1lb and this morning I weight 13 stone 3lbs. As I’ve been tracking the calories and not exercising this week I can pretty much say for certain that’s a glycogen gain and not fat. When I look back at the stats, I was 13 stone 3 two weeks ago too. I think between 13.3 and 13.5 is my actual weight you know (with glycogen). Any more than that and I know I’m putting the fat on. I say 13.5 cos I spiked to that this time last week too (after the party) and it all evened itself out again over the next few days. So I’m dedicating myself to rehydration today and am gonna stay off the treadmill tomorrow to make it a full week without exercise and I’m back in the routine come Thursday!

 

Another thing I managed to do (for the second weekend running) is not access the spreadsheet! I’m managing to slowly get myself off it. The plan is to still track my calorie intake to the letter until I finish RTM in 4 weeks time and then maybe for a few weeks after that just to make sure I stay on track with zero food packs. After that, I want to go it alone. I may carry it on a bit longer though because the next big challenge is coming. A holiday. This carries more psychological issues for me that practical ones cos I remember going on holiday with my mates in my late teens (whilst living a fairly healthy lifestyle) only to start ballooning when I got back and not stop growing for about 10 years! Anyway, we’re going to turkey with the wife’s family and I’m determined to stay the course on this one. The hotel has gym facilities which I’m going to use and I WON’T be drinking every day and I WON’T be having chips with everything. It CAN be done and I’m gonna prove it!

 

G

 

P.S After reading that back I don’t think I was being particularly clear on my concerns. My worry is losing control. The reason I was getting in a bit of a state about it is cos I was having stuff I didn’t plan to have and doing it intentionally. This naturally leads the way to the dreaded slippery slope. You remember the knife edge right? Well I’m still well and truly on it. I haven’t lost sight of it. I mentioned before that I need the ‘fear’ to keep me on the straight and narrow. I still believe that but, at the risk of spouting yet another old chestnut, face your fears!

 

P.P.S Thanks again for the comments everyone! I had one about a low GI diet from Vee. I totally think that’s the way forward and the lighterlife route to management books specifically refer to low GI food (it’s why you can have some fruit in week 3 and not others for example). Another aspect of a low GI diet is the whole grain approach. Although I’ve never actually read a book about low GI food what I do know is that eating Porridge oats, wholewheat pasta and brown rice/bread, really does work to keep you satisfied for longer.