Watch this space – Day 292

‘My wallet’s too small for my 50’s and my diamond shoes are too tight!’ – Day 91

 

I’ve got a bit of the arse today to be honest. I think it’s cos my scales are only showing a 3lb loss this week. However, one thing that being on Lighterlife has taught me is that you just never know until you get on those scales and I have my official weigh in tonight. It’s now 4 o’clock and I’ve just finished my 4^th litre of water. I always finish drinking earlier in the day on a weigh in day as water weighs a lot! I have a good 4 to 5 hours to get as much out of my system as poss! Anyway, having the hump about a 3lbs loss got me thinking. I’m being a right prat. 3lbs in one week is a great loss for any diet plan, let alone the fact that I’ve lost over 5 stone in 3 months! I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I’ve had some great losses over the last few weeks so it’s to be expected that I would have a slow week. It’s not that I feel entitled to have bigger losses or anything it’s just that I’ve been on the plan for quite a while now and I really want to hit goal in time for New Year. I need to calm down I think. I got far too hung up on time related targets a while a go and it’s no good for me. I know there are a lot of people who would love a 3lbs loss in one week so I need to keep that kind of thing in mind and keep my feet on the ground. But, like I said, you never know!

 

It’s funny how much you get used to things like good losses. It really keeps you motivated. It makes me have much more respect for people that can stick to the programme with really low losses. I don’t think I could do it. I think I’m just feeling sorry for myself in general at the mo to be honest. I have a cold that I just can’t seem to shake (it’s been nearly 2 weeks now) and I feel the cold ALL the time. I’m sitting here typing now and my hands are freezing. They’re actually starting to go sore and crack a bit. God, how much of a tart do I sound! I guess Lighterlife in the winter was always going to be a challenge as I think the cold weather really makes you want to comfort eat. Not soup though! Actually, a Heinz big soup with a nice crusty roll would go down well right now. Anyway, to top it all off I received a £900 estimate to have my car sorted (it’s dying) and on a car that’s only worth about 2 grand, it clearly isn’t worth it. So, I’m off to look at new cars this weekend which I could do without (the expense I mean). I always planned to get a new car, just not for another year. Oh well, what can you do? I think I’m gonna go for a new new one though. I need something reliable for the wife and kids (especially at this time of year) and I just can’t be dealing with the aggro of MOT tests and things going wrong all the time (which is the story of my life when it comes to cars).

 

Right, that’s enough moaning. I like to get it all out of the way when I’ve had a bad week before I do my weigh in post tomorrow. I went in to Marks and Spencers yesterday to check out the shirt situation. My work shirts are getting stupid now. The collars are soooooo big I look like an idiot. Anyway, the result was that I seem to be between sizes. Typical. I was intending on buying a shirt to try out the size but I got distracted by a coat. I really needed a new coat for work as it’s bloody freezing in the mornings and my suit jacket just wasn’t cutting it anymore. So I tried the coat on and it fitted nicely, I liked it and the price was right so I decided to buy it. This is the best bit. Size Large no less! I know it’s a coat but that’s not the point! I own and wear something that’s a size large! It all went a big wrong though when I got to the till as I’d left my wallet in the office. By the time I went back and forth to the office I was sweating. The last thing I needed was a coat! I was glad for it this morning though. This is quite a departure for me. In the old days I would wear a coat about twice a year. Certainly not this side of Christmas. I guess I just don’t have the insulation I used to have!

 

I’m wondering what my ketosis stick will say tonight after a pretty non existent result last week. I wonder if it’s the bars. They do have a slightly higher carb content and it’s only been the last week or two that I’ve been having one a day. Hmmmm, if I have the same result tonight when I pee on the stick, I might cut back on em and see what happens.

 

Sorry to moan but to be honest, that’s just the way I’m feeling today. I’ll be posting weigh in results tomorrow in a much more positive frame of mind I promise!

 

G

Terrible is the temptation to be good – Week 2 weigh in – Day 15

Ok. Here it is . Week 2 weight in results. I lost 6.5lbs in week 2! That brings my total loss to 17.5lbs (or 1st 3.5lbs). It gets better. My BMI is now just under 40, which means I’m now ‘Obese’! Yay! It feels better than morbidly obese that’s for sure!

Firstly I apologise for the lack of updates and detail in my posting but I’m off work at the mo. Took the kids to the zoo today and got to feed the elephants! All had a great day and the rain held off too! I’ve also now used every toilet in Colchester zoo.

Meeting went well last night though I did get the impression that most didn’t really want to be there. Perhaps it was cos England were playing or something. My LLC seemed surprised when I didn’t really react to the loss. I guess it’s cos the locum told me in week one that the LLC’s are trained not to react with the losses. Something to do with you not feeling like you’ve let them down in a bad week. So I’m sitting there downplaying it so as not to make here feel bad for not making a fuss when she’s telling me it’s something to be proud of. Actually, I’m not sure all of that last sentence makes sense! I got given a 1litre Lighterlife water bottle which I filled up with water and flavourings in order to take it to the zoo, then left it in the fridge. Typical. I also got given a pedometer. I seem to be getting a bit forgetful as I’d planned to have a bar whilst walking around today and left that in the car! I’m old before my years I reckon lol. Anywho, session focused on time management. It was a little depressing actually cos most of the discussion focused on what you did for the last 24 hours. Here’s mine. Went to work, drank soup, watched TV, drank shakes, went to bed, got up for work…… Typical day for most I guess but pretty sad all the same. We also got some grief cos we kept talking about Lighterlife as a diet and not a ‘programme’ and how that kind of talk promotes crooked thinking. Like a I said before, there was a definite ‘let’s just get through this’ atmosphere in the room as I think some of the other blokes had a bad week so I don’t feel I got much out of the session last night. I did get my food packs however and I lost £66 from my back pocket to go along with the 6.6lbs I lost round the tummy! I’m trying some new bars this week. Had the Lemon one today and I must say, I quite liked it. I was pretty surprised as is seems the general consensus is that the Lemon bar is rank. I have a fruit and toffee bar to try this weekend and another peanut for after next weeks weigh in. I don’t think I’ll bother with the water flavourings after I’ve finished this pot. They don’t really agree with me and I seem to get headaches whenever I have it.

I’m still tempted to eat but I think I need to come up with some new wording instead of tempted. I really want to do it, but I never do. I can honestly say that not one thing has passed my lips that I’m not allowed to have on the die…..programme since I started. I think I’m really in my stride now so when people ask me if I’m struggling or finding it hard I don’t really know what to say. Mainly cos I’m struggling but not finding it hard. Weird I know.

I guess I’m at peace with it now. With that said, the wife is sitting there watching desperate housewives eating a apricot crunch dairy milk bar (they’re new out). How lush does that sound! Must be time for my shake! 

G

P.S. Should be back to some sort of normal posting routine soon. I really do think that writing how I’m feeling helps to keep me motivated as I’ve missed that of late.

Finger licking good – Day 12

 

What a nightmare weekend on the internet front. I dunno what Sky is playing at but my internet connection has been virtually non existent! Worse than dial up! The result? No blogging and virtually no forum posting for the whole weekend. It actually highlighted something which I found quite surprising. How much I rely on the internet for support. The lighterlife community and minmins forums really are a god send. Even of you’re not posting you can still feel the benefit of the support offered to others. Not to mention the online diaries. Really inspirational stuff. I certainly recommend checking them out.

     

On to the diet. I definitely think weekends are my worst time. I guess it’s cos I spend a lot of time with the family and, especially when you have young kids, most of the time revolves around meals. It’s not that I’m more tempted at weekends. I guess it’s just in my face that much more. As a result, I think about it more than I do during the week (where work provides the distraction). With that said, I decided to challenge myself again this weekend. I cooked! I’m the roast dinner cooker in my house and it’s not something I’m gonna give up lightly! I don’t think the missus is eating well enough during the week (as I also do the weekly shop) so she’s damn well gonna eat a good meal on my watch! Ironically, the roast chicken came out bloody good this week (typical). The wife and the kids devoured it and I felt quite satisfied that I’d come through another challenge. Wasn’t particularly tempted to cheat during the experience (although I could have quite happily eaten a plate full at any time) but I did nearly lick my fingers a couple of times! I’m not saying that licking a finger is going to make me put weight on but that the taste could have the potential to turn me from resolute dieter to Homer Simpson in seconds. While they were eating dinner I cleared up and enjoyed (lol) my mushroom soup in front of the grand prix (Hamilton was robbed!). I certainly think cooking is going to be something I can handle going forward. I guess that leaves one more challenge. The pub. Now that’s something I’m not ready to face for a while yet. Beer is my trigger. If I slip and have a drink then it’s non stop to kebabs, burgers, chips etc. Not worth the risk just yet me thinks.

 

On the food front I actually had something resembling the stuff on Friday. My first bar (a cranberry affair) was somewhat disappointing. I don’t know if I’d bigged them up too much but I was pretty underwhelmed with the peanut bar on Saturday too. I guess my rational of using the bar as some sort of ‘treat’ is out the window. The worrying thing is that those two flavours are supposed to be the best! I’m gonna get some more this week anyway cos I need the convenience of them when I’m out and about. May as well give the lemon and toffee varieties a go. I’ve also been getting into the water flavourings this weekend (fruits of the forest). I was really looking forward to trying it in some fizzy water but when I stirred the stuff in, it lost most of the fizz! Any tips on how to do it without the water turning flat? I think I’m gonna have to limit the old water flavourings though as it doesn’t improve things in the toilet department I can tell you. I’ve also had a couple of savoury drinks this weekend. You’re allowed 2 a day and lighterlife sell them for 6 quid for 14 sachets. Thought that seemed a bit expensive so after a quick look on the LLC forum, I found an alternative.  It’s called marigold Swiss vegetable bullion and it has a measly 12 calories per 5g serving. It’s essentially vegetable stock but it has the same ingredients as the lighterlife stuff. Have you ever had really watery chicken noodle cup a soups? If so, that’s what it tastes like. Without the chicken, and the noodles lol. I was actually pleasantly surprised cos I’ve been craving something hot, savoury and watery as opposed to hot, savoury and creamy/powdery. With all that said, today is Monday so I’m back on 2 soups, 2 shakes and plain water. I think as I find during the week so easy and weekends so hard, I’m limiting bars, water flavourings and savoury drinks to the weekend only. That’s definitely when I need the variety. If you can call it that. All in all I guess the theme is ‘plodding along’. I wonder if I should have had the pop in this week you know. It may have motivated me a bit more.

 

I’ve also been on and of the scales over the weekend and I’m happy to say the weight is still moving in the right direction. I think I’m beginning to confuse myself though. I have a lighterlife weight, a home evening clothed weight, evening no clothes, morning clothed, morning no clothes, it’s a nightmare. I’ve decided not to bother any more and just get weighed at Lighterlife and stop obsessing over it. May hop on once mid week just to see how I’m progressing. See! I’m already slipping! Maybe I should just throw the scales out!

 

G